Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
