we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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