yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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