I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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