I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
