I just saw a hot homeless man
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
