He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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