Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
