If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
