Your face is a jimmy john
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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