Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
