Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize