"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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