I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Randomize
