I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
