nut hugger
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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