did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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