So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
