Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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