He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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