I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize