yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
