If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
