the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
