Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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