Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
