Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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