i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
