i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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