I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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