He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
