I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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