Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
