Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Randomize