she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
