No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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