im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
