I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
where am i from again
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
