Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
