bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
