I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
