I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
