How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
