peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize