just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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