and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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