so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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