I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm always down for nudity.
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