she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
