he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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