do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
