I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
