I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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