I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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