i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Use "feeling words"
Yay
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
