I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
