I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
only if we run a train.
done.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
