i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
