My nipple is on Facebook.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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