We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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