What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
