we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
