my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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