yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
