these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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