Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
40s are totally the cure
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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