How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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