I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Randomize
