So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
