C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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