So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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