Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
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