Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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