I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
