That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
